David Richo

spiritual practice together deepens their bond at the level of the soul. Soul mates, after all, are those whose spiritual paths have met.

Effort is important, but so is grace, the assistance of forces beyond you.

Our ego searches for love, but we are meant to find love within ourselves first.

We access the gift dimension—grace—when we look with friendliness upon ourselves.

When we tolerate not having our needs met fully, fear turns to vulnerability and a more generous love awakens in us.

Then what we aren’t changing, we are choosing.

We don’t look directly at the problem because we are afraid to see its extent.

We keep it all in the family.

We ask others to deal with the problem for us.

We make an inroad but still don’t look directly at the situation.

We engage in a cover-up and take that to be sufficient.

We are afraid to know the real nature of our relationship to someone.

Sometimes our knowing depends on the voice of someone else. Sometimes knowing ourselves hangs on a word from a person who understands us better than we understand ourselves. We may find out what we are really about from the wise friend or guide. This is the one who knows us not judgmentally but supportively.

In this witnessing style we are showing love since we are accepting without blaming, allowing without interfering.

Sometimes admonitions we heard in childhood obscure the revelation of the true story about ourselves and our predicament: “Stick it out, see it through, be the little engine that could, shut up and take it, never be a quitter, don’t give up no matter what.”

For instance, abuse may put us at an impasse. We don’t doubt our ability to tolerate what is happening, but we are doubting our ability to make a change.