Russ Harris

PART 3
Creating A Life Worth Living

Your Values
We’ve already touched on values several times in this book. Values are:

• Our heart’s deepest desires: how we want to be, what we want to stand for and how we want to relate to the world around us.

• Leading principles that can guide us and motivate us as we move through life.

Values Versus Goals
It’s important to recognise that values are not the same as goals. A value is a direction we desire to keep moving in; an ongoing process that never reaches an end. For example, the desire to be a loving and caring partner is a value.

A goal is a desired outcome that can be achieved or completed. For example, the desire to get married is a goal

Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist who survived years of unspeakable horror in Auschwitz and other camps, which he described in gruesome detail in his awe-inspiring book Man’s Search for Meaning.

One of the most fascinating revelations in this book is that, contrary to what you would expect, the people who survived longest in the death camps were often not the physically fittest and strongest, but rather, those who were most connected with a purpose in life.

Those who could not connect with a deeper value soon lost the will to live—and thus, their lives.

Frankl’s own sense of purpose came from several sources.

Most importantly, he helped people to connect with their own deepest values so they could find a sense of meaning, of purpose. This would then quite literally give them the strength to survive.

Connecting with our values gives us a sense that our hard work is worth the effort. For instance, if we value connecting with nature, this makes it worth the effort to organise a trip to the countryside. If we value being a loving parent, it’s worth taking the time to play with our kids. If we value our health, we’re willing to exercise on a regular basis despite the inconvenience and exertion. In this way, values act as motivators. We may not feel like exercising, but valuing our health can give us the will to ‘just do it!’.

The same principle applies to life in general. Many of my clients ask questions like, ‘What’s the point of life?’, ‘Is this all there is?’, ‘