Oprah Winfrey

What I’ve learned from talking to so many victims of traumatic events, abuse, or neglect is that after absorbing these painful experiences, the child begins to ache. A deep longing to feel needed, validated, and valued begins to take hold. As these children grow, they lack the ability to set a standard for what they deserve. And if that lack is not addressed, what often follows is a complicated, frustrating pattern of self-sabotage, violence, promiscuity, or addiction.

The brain can be divided into four interconnected areas: brainstem, diencephalon, limbic, and cortex. The structural and functional complexity increases from the lower, simpler areas of the brainstem up to the cortex. The cortex mediates the most uniquely “human” functions such as speech and language, abstract cognition, and the capacity to reflect on the past and envision the future.

Our brain is organized to act and feel before we think. This is also how our brain develops—sequentially, from the bottom up. The developing infant acts and feels, and these actions and feelings help organize how they will begin to think.