Evy Poumpouras

Being able to navigate your mental and physical response to fear is your number one survival skill.

This visualization about our future is called the theory of possible selves, a term created by Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius. Possible selves describes how as individuals we self-identify using experiences from our past and project those into our future. We manifest our possible selves in two ways—through our hopes and through our fears.

Muscles recover. But regret? That shit can be painful for a lifetime

There are two types of regrets: The regrets we have after doing something and those that come from not doing something.

Research shows that far more people regret actions that they didn’t take than the ones they did, even if they later come to see a certain past act as a mistake. It’s the things we don’t do that tend to haunt us long-term—such as
choosing not to take a new job, not to pursue a relationship, not to stand up for ourselves, or not to push beyond our comfort zones.

STEP 1: EXPOSE
Identify stressors that you can introduce into your life to help you strengthen your mental armor. Don’t jump off the deep end here. Remember, you should start small, but these should be uncomfortable. They might make you feel awkward or even afraid, and that’s okay so long as you don’t overdo it.

STEP 2: EXPERIENCE
Observe and take note of your F3 response. Study yourself under the condition of heightened stress to learn all that you can about your natural reaction to the stimulus. Did you freeze up? Did you feel the sudden urge to quit or run away? Did you experience rejection or failure? Good! Believe it or not, all of these experiences help fortify your mental armor so take them in.

Repeat steps 1–4. Having strong mental armor requires repetition, so you must keep at it. It’s not enough to just attain it; you must also maintain it. Think of it like trying to improve your bench press. In the beginning you may be able to handle only twenty-five pounds, but with enough patience and practice, you’ll be able to work your way up to 150 pounds. Also, keep in mind that when you strengthen one area of your life it will spill over into strengthening others as well.

Fear is like fire. If you extinguish it while it’s small, it won’t become an inferno.

One of the first strategies for building mental toughness is taking inventory of who you surround yourself with