Gary Chapman

Meeting my wife’s need for love is a choice I make each day.

I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. . . . Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even “sinners” love those who love them.4

We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love

People speak different love languages

Being sincere is not enough. We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love

Love need not evaporate after the wedding, but in order to keep it alive most of us will have to put forth the effort to learn a secondary love language

If we want him/her to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.

: “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank.’” I

They were seeking love in all the wrong places and in all the wrong ways

That is why the ancient biblical writings spoke of the husband and wife becoming “one flesh.” That did not mean that individuals would lose their identity; it meant that they would enter into each other’s lives in a deep and intimate way.